EMBRACE YOUR PAST, EMPOWER YOUR FUTURE
Lily Mindwell is the author of three self-help workbooks: one about the wounds that come from childhood, one about attachment styles, one for couples who have stopped understanding each other. She studied psychology and worked in counseling, and she came to both because of what she carried herself. Born in New York City in 1989, she grew up with books everywhere and, through her school years, with anxiety and low self-esteem that nobody around her could see.
Counseling taught her that a pattern in a textbook looks very different when it is sitting across the table from you. When she wanted to reach more people than one room could hold, she began to write. Her subjects are self-acceptance, resilience and the small, ordinary joys that a hard past makes easy to miss. On the blog she works out what the books cannot fit.
Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful Attachment Recovery Workbook starts with a quiz that tells you your primary and your secondary attachment style, then works on each one: somatic tools and a “pause before you text” checklist for the anxious heart, a ladder of small acts of vulnerability for the avoidant shield, a triggers and glimmers tracker for the fearful-avoidant dance. CBT thought records, secure check-in scripts and a partner vetting list close the book. The exercises take ten to fifteen minutes a day.
Love and Relationship Workbook for Couples is for two people who feel more like roommates than lovers and want the way back. Twenty-five exercises to do together at the kitchen table, drawn from the Gottman method, emotionally focused therapy and attachment theory: memory prompts and value-sorting cards, guided dialogues with an active-listening stopwatch, scripts that turn attack and defend into “us against the problem”, a vision-board weekend and the hold-me-tight dialogue. Most take twenty minutes.
Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook is for the adult who still asks “why am I like this”. More than a hundred exercises, journaling prompts and grounding tools, built on cognitive behavioural therapy, parts work and somatic grounding: self-inventories to meet your inner child, five-minute resets for a panic or a conflict, timelines and body scans that link early experiences to today’s triggers, CBT charts, reparenting scripts and letters to your younger self, boundaries without the shame spiral. Safety first, then understanding, then change.
Picture a scenario that plays out in millions of bedrooms every single night. One partner is lying perfectly still, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling in the dark. Beside them, the other partner is snoring loudly, tossing and turning, or radiating body heat like a human furnace. As the hours tick by, the awake…
A woman told me that her colleagues once threw her a small party for ten years at the company. There was a cake with her name on it, a card signed by the whole office and a short speech from her manager. She spent the entire time in the kitchen, cutting slices and handing them…
A woman told me that she went to a friend’s baby shower and ended up crying in the bathroom. Nothing bad had happened. Her friend’s mother had simply been fussing over the new baby, stroking its hair and singing softly while everyone watched. The woman smiled, went upstairs and sobbed for ten minutes without knowing…
A man told me that he used to dread the first hour after work. His wife would greet him at the door full of news, questions and plans for the weekend, and he would nod along while his head buzzed from eight hours of meetings. Most evenings ended with one of them snapping. One Sunday,…
Amazon reviews of Lily’s workbooks, quoted as they were written.
“I was looking for a workbook to supplement another book I’m reading and the work I’m doing in therapy. This book is great and has a lot of great exercises and tools for people overcoming trauma. I will use this for myself and with my own clients as well. Definitely recommend!”
“This workbook has a giant wealth of knowledge. It goes over almost anything you can think of for a couple. I think this book has brought my husband and I closer together. The questions in the book make you think about things you probably haven’t thought of in your relationship.”
“I’m a bit of a therapy, self-help, and journaling junkie … Lily includes some very thought provoking questions that, I’ll admit, can be a bit frustrating at first… because they really require looking at your childhood from a different perspective which can be uncomfortable, but in a positive self-growth type of way.”
“It is great that she breaks things down so there is no confusion on what to do and how to do it. I would definitely pick up another book that she has today and you should too.”
“It is obvious that this was a labor of love. … I learned so much about myself from reading this book and why I think the way I think and act the way I do.”
“Great ideas and good execution. Recommend for even just reconnection.”
“It may not be easy, it hasn’t been for me personally but this book gave me the tools I needed to better understand myself and my own journey through my childhood trauma. This is not a quick fix. It takes work, but it is definitely worth it!!”
“Great book I’ve put it to use. And has good results lol”
“If you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, if you can’t connect with others or if you’re dealing with an addiction getting in touch with and healing your inner child can help to bring your life into harmony. This book contains exercises and worksheets to help you to do this”
“I was looking for a workbook to supplement another book I’m reading and the work I’m doing in therapy. This book is great and has a lot of great exercises and tools for people overcoming trauma. I will use this for myself and with my own clients as well. Definitely recommend!”
“This workbook has a giant wealth of knowledge. It goes over almost anything you can think of for a couple. I think this book has brought my husband and I closer together. The questions in the book make you think about things you probably haven’t thought of in your relationship.”
“I’m a bit of a therapy, self-help, and journaling junkie … Lily includes some very thought provoking questions that, I’ll admit, can be a bit frustrating at first… because they really require looking at your childhood from a different perspective which can be uncomfortable, but in a positive self-growth type of way.”
“It is great that she breaks things down so there is no confusion on what to do and how to do it. I would definitely pick up another book that she has today and you should too.”
“It is obvious that this was a labor of love. … I learned so much about myself from reading this book and why I think the way I think and act the way I do.”
“Great ideas and good execution. Recommend for even just reconnection.”
“It may not be easy, it hasn’t been for me personally but this book gave me the tools I needed to better understand myself and my own journey through my childhood trauma. This is not a quick fix. It takes work, but it is definitely worth it!!”
“Great book I’ve put it to use. And has good results lol”
“If you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, if you can’t connect with others or if you’re dealing with an addiction getting in touch with and healing your inner child can help to bring your life into harmony. This book contains exercises and worksheets to help you to do this”
