An open notebook, a fountain pen and a cup of tea on a linen-covered desk by a window, with a sprig of eucalyptus
Workbooks · reflections

Workbooks and reflections for patterns you are ready to understand.

Attachment, childhood wounds and relationships, explained plainly, with space to write your own answers.

Paths

Where would you like to begin?

The workbooks

A workbook for each kind of pattern

For: old wounds that still hurt

Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook

Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook is for the adult who still asks “why am I like this?” Short chapters and guided exercises built on cognitive behavioral therapy: a checklist of the signs of a wounded inner child, daily drawing with your non-dominant hand, a worksheet to challenge cognitive distortions, a letter to your five-year-old self, boundaries, forgiveness, and a self-care plan. Twenty or thirty minutes a few times a week is plenty.

See the workbook →

For: two people, one notebook

Love and Relationship Workbook for Couples

Love and Relationship Workbook for Couples is for two people who feel more like roommates than partners and want the way back. Exercises to do together, chapter by chapter: your origin story and shared values, three minutes of listening and the daily check-in, fair-fighting rules and conflict role-plays, love letters and a memory jar, a vision board for your future, and fill-in scripts inspired by Emotionally Focused Therapy to step out of your negative cycle.

See the workbook →

For: anxious, avoidant, fearful

Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful Attachment Recovery Workbook

Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful Attachment Recovery Workbook starts with a quiz that tells you your primary and your secondary attachment tendency, then works on each pattern: somatic tools, an emotional SOS kit and a “pause before you text” checklist for the anxious heart, a vulnerability ladder for the avoidant shield, the Triggers–Glimmers System for the fearful-avoidant dance. CBT thought records, secure scripts, the Boundaries Circle and Red Flags vs. Green Flags follow, and a Secure Relationship Manifesto closes the book. Ten to fifteen minutes a day is enough.

See the workbook →

Recent articles

Read, then reflect

Attachment Patterns

Relationship Anxiety: Why Love Makes You Worry Even When It Is Going Well

7 min read
Lily Mindwell sitting in a floral armchair at home, writing in a notebook
About Lily

A writer who has done the exercises first

Lily Mindwell writes self-help workbooks: one about the wounds that come from childhood, one about attachment styles, one for couples who have stopped understanding each other. She studied psychology and worked in counseling, and she came to both because of what she carried herself. Born in New York City in 1989, she grew up with books everywhere and, through her school years, with anxiety and low self-esteem that nobody around her could see.

Counseling taught her that a pattern in a textbook looks very different when it is sitting across the table from you. When she wanted to reach more people than one room could hold, she began to write. Her subjects are self-acceptance, resilience and the small, ordinary joys that a hard past makes easy to miss. On the blog she works out what the books cannot fit.

About Lily

What Readers Say

Amazon reviews of Lily’s workbooks, quoted as they were written.

TeeJay
★★★★★

“I was looking for a workbook to supplement another book I’m reading and the work I’m doing in therapy. This book is great and has a lot of great exercises and tools for people overcoming trauma. I will use this for myself and with my own clients as well. Definitely recommend!”

On Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook

Shar Patterson
★★★★★

“This workbook has a giant wealth of knowledge. It goes over almost anything you can think of for a couple. I think this book has brought my husband and I closer together. The questions in the book make you think about things you probably haven’t thought of in your relationship.”

On Love and Relationship Workbook for Couples

Leandra
★★★★★

“I’m a bit of a therapy, self-help, and journaling junkie … Lily includes some very thought provoking questions that, I’ll admit, can be a bit frustrating at first… because they really require looking at your childhood from a different perspective which can be uncomfortable, but in a positive self-growth type of way.”

On Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook

Edward S. Adams II
★★★★★

“It is great that she breaks things down so there is no confusion on what to do and how to do it. I would definitely pick up another book that she has today and you should too.”

On Love and Relationship Workbook for Couples

DebbieB
★★★★★

“It is obvious that this was a labor of love. … I learned so much about myself from reading this book and why I think the way I think and act the way I do.”

On Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook

Angie B.
★★★★★

“It may not be easy, it hasn’t been for me personally but this book gave me the tools I needed to better understand myself and my own journey through my childhood trauma. This is not a quick fix. It takes work, but it is definitely worth it!!”

On Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook

Gayla
★★★★☆

“If you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, if you can’t connect with others or if you’re dealing with an addiction getting in touch with and healing your inner child can help to bring your life into harmony. This book contains exercises and worksheets to help you to do this”

On Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook

TeeJay
★★★★★

“I was looking for a workbook to supplement another book I’m reading and the work I’m doing in therapy. This book is great and has a lot of great exercises and tools for people overcoming trauma. I will use this for myself and with my own clients as well. Definitely recommend!”

On Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook

Shar Patterson
★★★★★

“This workbook has a giant wealth of knowledge. It goes over almost anything you can think of for a couple. I think this book has brought my husband and I closer together. The questions in the book make you think about things you probably haven’t thought of in your relationship.”

On Love and Relationship Workbook for Couples

Leandra
★★★★★

“I’m a bit of a therapy, self-help, and journaling junkie … Lily includes some very thought provoking questions that, I’ll admit, can be a bit frustrating at first… because they really require looking at your childhood from a different perspective which can be uncomfortable, but in a positive self-growth type of way.”

On Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook

Edward S. Adams II
★★★★★

“It is great that she breaks things down so there is no confusion on what to do and how to do it. I would definitely pick up another book that she has today and you should too.”

On Love and Relationship Workbook for Couples

DebbieB
★★★★★

“It is obvious that this was a labor of love. … I learned so much about myself from reading this book and why I think the way I think and act the way I do.”

On Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook

Angie B.
★★★★★

“It may not be easy, it hasn’t been for me personally but this book gave me the tools I needed to better understand myself and my own journey through my childhood trauma. This is not a quick fix. It takes work, but it is definitely worth it!!”

On Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook

Gayla
★★★★☆

“If you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, if you can’t connect with others or if you’re dealing with an addiction getting in touch with and healing your inner child can help to bring your life into harmony. This book contains exercises and worksheets to help you to do this”

On Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook