EMBRACE YOUR PAST, EMPOWER YOUR FUTURE
Lily Mindwell is the author of three self-help workbooks: one about the wounds that come from childhood, one about attachment styles, one for couples who have stopped understanding each other. She studied psychology and worked in counseling, and she came to both because of what she carried herself. Born in New York City in 1989, she grew up with books everywhere and, through her school years, with anxiety and low self-esteem that nobody around her could see.
Counseling taught her that a pattern in a textbook looks very different when it is sitting across the table from you. When she wanted to reach more people than one room could hold, she began to write. Her subjects are self-acceptance, resilience and the small, ordinary joys that a hard past makes easy to miss. On the blog she works out what the books cannot fit.
Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful Attachment Recovery Workbook starts with a quiz that tells you your primary and your secondary attachment style, then works on each one: somatic tools and a “pause before you text” checklist for the anxious heart, a ladder of small acts of vulnerability for the avoidant shield, a triggers and glimmers tracker for the fearful-avoidant dance. CBT thought records, secure check-in scripts and a partner vetting list close the book. The exercises take ten to fifteen minutes a day.
Love and Relationship Workbook for Couples is for two people who feel more like roommates than lovers and want the way back. Twenty-five exercises to do together at the kitchen table, drawn from the Gottman method, emotionally focused therapy and attachment theory: memory prompts and value-sorting cards, guided dialogues with an active-listening stopwatch, scripts that turn attack and defend into “us against the problem”, a vision-board weekend and the hold-me-tight dialogue. Most take twenty minutes.
Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook is for the adult who still asks “why am I like this”. More than a hundred exercises, journaling prompts and grounding tools, built on cognitive behavioural therapy, parts work and somatic grounding: self-inventories to meet your inner child, five-minute resets for a panic or a conflict, timelines and body scans that link early experiences to today’s triggers, CBT charts, reparenting scripts and letters to your younger self, boundaries without the shame spiral. Safety first, then understanding, then change.
You were fine ten seconds ago. Then your partner said one sentence, maybe not even a cruel one, and something in you tipped. Your heart is suddenly loud. Your face is hot. You can hear them still talking, but the words arrive as noise. The only two options your body offers are to shout or…
It is not the shouting that does the damage. You have both survived shouting. It is the moment after. You say something, and your partner’s upper lip curls slightly. Or their eyes drift to the ceiling. Or they repeat your words back in a small mocking voice. Something in your chest folds up. You cannot…
Nothing is wrong. That is the strange part. Your partner is kind, they text back, they say they love you and seem to mean it. Yet you lie awake running the relationship like a stress test. Did they sound flat on the phone? Are we actually compatible, or do I just think we are? What…
You promised yourself the next one would be different. Then you met someone, and they were different, at first. Six months later you are standing in a kitchen having the exact argument you had with the last person. You had it with the one before that too. If you are honest, you first had it…
Amazon reviews of Lily’s workbooks, quoted as they were written.
“I was looking for a workbook to supplement another book I’m reading and the work I’m doing in therapy. This book is great and has a lot of great exercises and tools for people overcoming trauma. I will use this for myself and with my own clients as well. Definitely recommend!”
“This workbook has a giant wealth of knowledge. It goes over almost anything you can think of for a couple. I think this book has brought my husband and I closer together. The questions in the book make you think about things you probably haven’t thought of in your relationship.”
“I’m a bit of a therapy, self-help, and journaling junkie … Lily includes some very thought provoking questions that, I’ll admit, can be a bit frustrating at first… because they really require looking at your childhood from a different perspective which can be uncomfortable, but in a positive self-growth type of way.”
“It is great that she breaks things down so there is no confusion on what to do and how to do it. I would definitely pick up another book that she has today and you should too.”
“It is obvious that this was a labor of love. … I learned so much about myself from reading this book and why I think the way I think and act the way I do.”
“Great ideas and good execution. Recommend for even just reconnection.”
“It may not be easy, it hasn’t been for me personally but this book gave me the tools I needed to better understand myself and my own journey through my childhood trauma. This is not a quick fix. It takes work, but it is definitely worth it!!”
“Great book I’ve put it to use. And has good results lol”
“If you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, if you can’t connect with others or if you’re dealing with an addiction getting in touch with and healing your inner child can help to bring your life into harmony. This book contains exercises and worksheets to help you to do this”
“I was looking for a workbook to supplement another book I’m reading and the work I’m doing in therapy. This book is great and has a lot of great exercises and tools for people overcoming trauma. I will use this for myself and with my own clients as well. Definitely recommend!”
“This workbook has a giant wealth of knowledge. It goes over almost anything you can think of for a couple. I think this book has brought my husband and I closer together. The questions in the book make you think about things you probably haven’t thought of in your relationship.”
“I’m a bit of a therapy, self-help, and journaling junkie … Lily includes some very thought provoking questions that, I’ll admit, can be a bit frustrating at first… because they really require looking at your childhood from a different perspective which can be uncomfortable, but in a positive self-growth type of way.”
“It is great that she breaks things down so there is no confusion on what to do and how to do it. I would definitely pick up another book that she has today and you should too.”
“It is obvious that this was a labor of love. … I learned so much about myself from reading this book and why I think the way I think and act the way I do.”
“Great ideas and good execution. Recommend for even just reconnection.”
“It may not be easy, it hasn’t been for me personally but this book gave me the tools I needed to better understand myself and my own journey through my childhood trauma. This is not a quick fix. It takes work, but it is definitely worth it!!”
“Great book I’ve put it to use. And has good results lol”
“If you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, if you can’t connect with others or if you’re dealing with an addiction getting in touch with and healing your inner child can help to bring your life into harmony. This book contains exercises and worksheets to help you to do this”
