Blog

This is where Lily Mindwell writes about inner child healing. Most of the articles are about the wounds that childhood leaves behind. They look at what those wounds do to an adult: the anxiety, the self-doubt, the patterns that keep coming back. Attachment styles and relationships have their own space too, because that is where the old wounds show up most. She studied psychology and worked in counseling, and she writes as someone who has done this work herself.

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Inner Child · Relationships · Attachment Styles

Love Maps: Deepening Intimacy by Knowing Your Partner’s World
Relationships

Love Maps: Deepening Intimacy by Knowing Your Partner’s World

A woman I spoke with realised, on her husband's fiftieth birthday, that she could not have named a single thing…
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Repair Attempts: How Couples Stop an Argument Mid-Fall
Relationships

Repair Attempts: How Couples Stop an Argument Mid-Fall

A couple were mid-argument in my room, about money, and it was going badly. Then he said, in a small…
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Alphabet Dating: A Creative Way to Rediscover Each Other
Relationships

Alphabet Dating: A Creative Way to Rediscover Each Other

Every long-term relationship eventually reaches a crossroads where the thrill of discovery is replaced by the comfort of predictability. While…
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Conscious Partnership: Aligning Goals for a Meaningful Life
Relationships

Conscious Partnership: Aligning Goals for a Meaningful Life

A couple I know spent their first five years assuming they wanted the same life. Then one of them was…
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Fair Fighting Rules: How to Argue Without Damaging Your Bond
Relationships

Fair Fighting Rules: How to Argue Without Damaging Your Bond

Imagine a scenario: You are upset because your partner forgot an important anniversary. The conversation starts with disappointment, but within…
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How to Communicate Your Needs Effectively
Relationships

How to Communicate Your Needs Effectively

A Guide for Couples How to Communicate Your Needs Effectively may seem like a straightforward task, yet many couples find…
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Building Trust in Your Relationship: The Three Things It Is Made Of, and How to Rebuild Each One
Relationships

Building Trust in Your Relationship: The Three Things It Is Made Of, and How to Rebuild Each One

A man I worked with years ago told me he did not trust his wife, and then could not say…
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Nonviolent Communication: Expressing Needs Without Blame
Relationships

Nonviolent Communication: Expressing Needs Without Blame

A man told me he had meant to say he was lonely. What came out, in the kitchen, was that…
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Life Design: Creating a Joint Vision Board for Your Future
Relationships

Life Design: Creating a Joint Vision Board for Your Future

A couple I know spent nine months choosing tiles for a bathroom. In the same nine months they made no…
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Mastering Conflict Resolution
Relationships

Mastering Conflict Resolution

A couple told me they had been having the same argument since 2011. It was ostensibly about the dishwasher, and…
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Reignite Your Relationship: Practical Exercises to Deepen Intimacy and Trust
Relationships

Reignite Your Relationship: Practical Exercises to Deepen Intimacy and Trust

A couple I spoke to booked four nights in Rome to fix things. They took photographs and ate well. They…
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Co-Regulation: How Two Nervous Systems Calm Each Other
Relationships

Co-Regulation: How Two Nervous Systems Calm Each Other

A woman once described the thing she loved most about her husband. It had nothing to do with anything he…
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Building a Future Together: Goal Setting Exercises for Couples
Relationships

Building a Future Together: Goal Setting Exercises for Couples

A couple I know spent eleven years intending to move to the coast. They mentioned it at dinner parties. They…
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Holding Space: What It Means and How to Actually Do It
Relationships

Holding Space: What It Means and How to Actually Do It

A man once told me, with real bewilderment, that his wife had thanked him for a conversation in which he…
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Relationship Roadmap: Plotting Your Journey Through Hard Times
Relationships

Relationship Roadmap: Plotting Your Journey Through Hard Times

A couple in their fifties told me they had been unhappy for two years and had never once sat down…
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The 2-2-2 Rule: A Simple Strategy to Keep Romance Alive
Relationships

The 2-2-2 Rule: A Simple Strategy to Keep Romance Alive

Relationships often start with a burst of fireworks. There are spontaneous dates, long conversations into the night, and a constant,…
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Emotional Bank Account: How to Build Trust Through Small Deposits
Relationships

Emotional Bank Account: How to Build Trust Through Small Deposits

We often think of trust in a relationship as a massive, monolithic structure—something that is built once through grand gestures…
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Effective Techniques for Resolution and Growth
Relationships

Effective Techniques for Resolution and Growth

A couple I spoke to had read four books between them and could quote all of them. They knew about…
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Bids for Connection: Recognizing and Responding to Your Partner
Relationships

Bids for Connection: Recognizing and Responding to Your Partner

A woman told me her marriage ended over a bird. Her husband had looked out of the kitchen window one…
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Rituals of Connection: Establishing Daily Habits for a Stronger Bond
Relationships

Rituals of Connection: Establishing Daily Habits for a Stronger Bond

A couple I know had one habit they never discussed. Whoever got up first made two cups of coffee and…
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Inner child healing, one question at a time

Each article takes one question and answers it in full. For example: why do I shut down when someone gets close? How do I set a boundary without the guilt that follows? What does an anxious attachment style look like on an ordinary Tuesday? The answer always comes with something to do, not only something to understand. A journaling prompt, a grounding exercise, a script for the next hard conversation. Nothing here replaces therapy; instead, it makes the work between sessions easier to carry.

The method is the one in her three workbooks, from the Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook to the Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful Attachment Recovery Workbook and the Love and Relationship Workbook for Couples. The blog is where those exercises meet a real week: the text you almost sent, the argument that went in circles, the evening when the old shame came back. In short, inner child healing for people who want a way to practise it.

The older articles get a fresh look when there is a clearer way to say something. Use the search box to find one subject. Otherwise, start from a topic below. Each one gathers every article on that theme, so nothing gets lost in the archive.