Do you remember a time when you measured your days in adventures instead of hours? When a simple cardboard box could become a spaceship and a patch of grass was a sprawling kingdom? As children, play was our natural language. In fact, it was how we learned, connected, and experienced pure, unadulterated joy. Then, somewhere along the path to adulthood, the rules changed. Responsibilities mounted, calendars filled up, and we relegated play to the bottom of the to-do list, often labeling it as frivolous or unproductive.

If you find yourself feeling weighed down by the seriousness of life, longing for a spark of spontaneity, you’re not alone. Many of us have forgotten how to access that lighter, more joyful part of ourselves. The good news, however, is that it’s not gone; it’s just waiting for you to rediscover it. Learning how to be more playful is not about shirking your duties or regressing to childhood. Instead, it’s about intentionally reintroducing a powerful source of happiness, creativity, and connection into your adult life. This guide will show you exactly how to do that.

Why Did We Stop Playing?

The transition from a playful child to a serious adult doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process that societal expectations and our own internal beliefs shape over time. Society often teaches us that to be a successful adult is to be perpetually busy and productive. Consequently, our culture tends to glorify workaholism and treat rest and leisure as luxuries rather than necessities.

Furthermore, we develop a fear of judgment. What will people think if they see us being silly, spontaneous, or fully engrossed in an activity with no discernible purpose? This self-consciousness acts as a powerful inhibitor, causing us to suppress our natural inclinations toward play. We start to believe that play is for kids and that our time is better spent on “more important” things. Over time, the playful muscle atrophies from lack of use, and as a result, we forget the immense value it brings to our well-being.

The Surprising and Serious Benefits of Play

Far from being a waste of time, play represents a vital component of a healthy and balanced life. The benefits extend beyond the emotional; they are psychological, social, and even biological. When you learn how to be more playful, you are actively investing in your overall health in profound ways.

In fact, according to an article from the Mayo Clinic Health System, engaging in play can significantly reduce stress by triggering the release of endorphins, the body’s natural “feel-good” chemicals. It fosters a sense of optimism and well-being that can buffer you from the negative effects of stress.

Key Advantages for Your Well-being

Here are just a few of the evidence-backed benefits of adult play:

• Reduces Stress and Improves Mood: Playful activities are a powerful antidote to stress. For example, they can lower cortisol levels, calm your nervous system, and stimulate emotions like joy and amusement.
• Boosts Creativity and Problem-Solving: When you’re in a playful state, your mind is more flexible and open. This can lead to new insights, innovative ideas, and creative solutions to problems you’ve been stuck on. In other words, play allows you to approach challenges from different angles.
• Strengthens Relationships and Social Connections: Sharing playful moments with others builds strong bonds of trust and intimacy. Laughter and fun create positive memories and foster a sense of community, which is essential for cultivating positive relationships.
• Improves Brain Function: Play is like fertilizer for the brain. Specifically, learning new games or skills stimulates memory, grows new neural connections, and can help prevent cognitive decline as we age.
• Increases Energy and Vitality: A life devoid of play can be draining. Reintroducing activities you love for their own sake can, therefore, replenish your energy reserves and leave you feeling more vibrant and engaged with life.

Reconnecting With Your Inner Child

At the heart of playfulness lies the concept of the inner child—that part of you that holds your capacity for wonder, creativity, and authentic joy. For many adults, life’s demands have quieted or ignored this part. Learning to play again is a direct way to nurture and heal this essential aspect of your being.

The role of play in inner child healing is significant because it validates the parts of you that are not tied to productivity or achievement. Moreover, it sends a powerful message to your psyche: “It is safe to be joyful. It is okay to have fun without needing a reason.” By giving yourself permission to be spontaneous and silly, you are reparenting your inner child, providing the unconditional acceptance and freedom it may have lacked.

A Practical Guide to Cultivating Playfulness

Knowing you should be more playful and actually doing it are two different things. It can feel awkward and unnatural at first. For this reason, the key is to start small and be intentional.

Redefine What “Play” Means to You First, let go of any preconceived notions of what play has to be. It’s not limited to board games or team sports (though it certainly can be!). Play is any activity you engage in purely for the enjoyment of it, without attachment to a specific outcome. Indeed, it is a state of mind more than a specific action. Consider harnessing creativity for emotional healing and expression as a form of play—for instance, painting, writing, or playing an instrument without the pressure of creating a masterpiece.

Schedule Time for Play This might sound counterintuitive, but in reality, in our overscheduled lives, the only way to ensure something happens is to put it on the calendar. Schedule 30 minutes of “playtime” once or twice a week. Treat this appointment with the same seriousness you would a work meeting. During this time, your only job is to do something fun.

Embrace Mindful Silliness Play doesn’t have to be a grand, planned event. You can inject small moments of playfulness throughout your day. This practice of mindfulness in motion helps break the monotony of routine.

• Put on your favorite upbeat song and have a two-minute dance party in your kitchen while waiting for your coffee to brew.
• Tell a silly joke to your partner or a coworker.
• Buy a pack of crayons and spend ten minutes coloring.
• Sing loudly (and off-key) in your car.
• Try a new, fun filter on a video call.

Explore Your Curiosity Curiosity is the engine of play. Make a list of things you’ve always been curious about but never pursued.

• Learn a useless but fun skill, like juggling or a magic trick.
• Visit a part of your town you’ve never been to.
• Go to a museum, an art gallery, or a quirky local shop.
• Watch a documentary on a topic you know nothing about.
• Try a new type of food or a new recipe.

Overcoming the Common Barriers to Play

As you try to be more playful, you will likely encounter internal resistance. This is normal. The key is to approach these barriers with compassion and curiosity.

Feeling Self-Conscious: The fear of looking foolish is a major hurdle. The best way to overcome this is to start by playing alone or with a trusted friend who won’t judge you. Remind yourself that the goal is your own joy, not anyone else’s approval. Additionally, working on your self-esteem is crucial, and there are many practical exercises for building self-confidence that can help.

Feeling Guilty: If you feel guilty for “wasting time,” reframe it. You are not wasting time; you are investing in your mental health, creativity, and overall well-being. Look at the list of benefits again and remind yourself that play is as productive for your soul as work is for your career.

Not Knowing Where to Start: If you feel completely lost, think back to what you loved to do as a child. What activities made you lose track of time? Did you love building things, being in nature, drawing, or making up stories? Start there. Your childhood passions are often a clue to what your adult self will find playful.

Ultimately, learning how to be more playful is a journey back to a more authentic and joyful version of yourself. It’s about giving yourself permission to be spontaneous, to laugh freely, and to engage with the world with a sense of wonder. By consciously cultivating play, you are not just adding fun to your life; you are unlocking a powerful tool for resilience, connection, and deep, lasting happiness.

Check out the author’s book here: Healing Your Childhood Wounds Workbook.